Thursday, 1 December 2011

Dumb, Dumber and Marketing

Solutions to what exactly?
 I rarely feel the urge to rant on a blog. Actually, I rarely feel the urge to rant full stop.In a nice gentle way I have vines, winemaking and cider to write about . If people are interested then that's lovely but I suppose that I write the stuff mostly as my way of recording what changes on the farm.As a middle aged Englishman I obviously have an inbuilt genetic hatred of people who throw litter out of car windows and of people that queue jump but that's unavoidble.
In my day job I get to write quite a lot of copy for products whether it's for back labels, websites or press releases. I enjoy it but there are those lazy lazy words and phrases that you could so easily slip in to save having to use a single brain cell, it's so tempting but you know that you would feel ashamed and unclean afterwards.
Authentic - as in, Authentic Italian Pizza produced in Germany/Ireland
Edgy -   any product aimed at middle aged people trying to believe that they are cutting edge as in This Premium Foccacia Slicer has Edgy Italian design.
Cutting Edge -  Edgy for Top Gear viewers.
Premium - Cheap but with more Alcohol, Fat, Sugar ( delete as appropriate)
Crafted - Made by the millions by Robots.
Hand Crafted -  Made by Robots and packed by a Robert.
Passionate -  I have honestly seen "We are passionate about toilet  and personal hygiene products"
Innovative -  Same product, new pack.
Excellence - Ordinary. The phrase "Excellence as Standard" gives 153 000 000 results on Google.
Pursuit of Excellence -  Can't even do ordinary. 
Best Practice - We adhere to a strict set of rules and have no imagination or flexibility.

Mission Statement -  All of the above rearranged in random fashion.